A SPECIAL BULLETIN FROM THE RADIO COMMISSION OF PANGEA AND GREATER TERRITORIES DO NOT TOUCH THAT DIAL Esteemed listeners, Moneybag Holdings and Crumbfellow Recording studios, In association with Furlough chewing tobacco and company and Hollyhock Stable Pennystocks, are proud to present this new wonderful listening tune brought to you in part by Doctor Bartholomew Bambritch’s Offices of Law and Patriotism, Extending our support to the brave troops in Antarctica. Give em’ Hell, boys! And now, Presenting, with our partners in Slentmann’s coaltar, and the Commonwealth Slime and Slime Associates, produced in house at the luxurious moneybags estate, we are proud to present… HORACIO MONEYBAGS

Torn from the ether, we are given legs upon which we must walk Upon this earth we tread, with eyes facing upwards to the hawk Foolish and conceited, thinking sky to be for where he solely lives But hark! A single man steps up to take what’s truly his Soaring through the sky, you won’t believe your eyes For its something that they've never ever seen Winding through the wind, Hear those mighty engines spin It’s Horacio Moneybags and his machine! Broken free from his cage, The modern Adam of our age Horacio Moneybags and his Fantastic Flying machine! Let me hear you now! Horacio and his fantastic flying machine!

We’ll send our sons and daughters Our children and our toddlers Over the frigid water To fight the noble fight The drummer boy is drummin' He’ll never see em comin' The heart of war is thrummin' So that’s where they will be So Hurrah Yes Hurrah We’ll send those kringles packin' With a strong and hearty wackin' We’ll fight them and we’ll beat them We’ll scalp them and then eat them And when we go defeat them They’ll know that they are bad Their doom is surely loomin' They’re barely even human And when the bombs go zoomin' We’ll finally be at peace So hurrah Yes hurrah No more wickedness or lying When they’re bleeding out and dying We’ll storm the beaches faster Behead the bearded master Of Those pointy eared bastards Before they get a clue No more toys or ho ho hoing, To hell they’ll soon be going When the jingle bells start slowing It’s over there for nick So hurrah Yes hurrah There’ll be no more nice or naughty When we’ve bagged and tagged the body Hurrah Indeed, Hurrah When the poles of north and south are ours, the 49th and 50th state. Buy War Bonds!

Petunia, petunia I’ll sing something to ya Marooned, I’m marooned and This is all I can do now I’m sending you a message and wishing you well Cause my plane exploded and I’m living in hell Petunia I’m so alone Petunia, how I wish to hear your Sweet dulcet tones But I’m trapped on an island with a posse of freaks And I’ve been sitting here singing, just counting the weeks Til I can see ya, Free ya, Bend down on one knee, and say I need ya, I plead ya, Please be there for me Cause when I get back home I’ll sweep you right off your feet And thank the lucky stars above that again we should meet You know, it’s been pretty rough here Suffered a lot of bodily injury, mental injury, psychic injury I killed a guy, then he killed me, then we both killed each other Oh, but that was around when I got shoved down a cave full of monsters This is beside the point I just wanted to say, really and truly with all my heart I l- I know that I love her And my dear percussor Will keep thumping thumping on my chest, Though you always did it best Remember that I’ll see you in the sky

Vim and vigor, a body much bigger When all the other slop makes you feel much sicker If you aim for the top, just remember these phonics: Moneybags Miracle Tonic When you're brain is dulling and your jaw goes slack Bring it all back to the point of a tack No my friend, you don't need a mnemonic, Just Moneybags Miracle Tonic Look like a freak? Chin line weaker? Change that tune with a hit from this beaker Make 'em all stare with the flashy ironics and Moneybags Miracle Tonic

What can I do I’m thinking of you And all the little things i could have said that were true I’m sick and I’m blue The future is through And all i think is how I could have spent it with you I’m lost in the mist So riddle me this What has 2 legs in the morning and is walking alone On the beach and looking at the set of footprints I own Why weren’t there two? What happened to you? A stranger took your face and placed himself in your shoes The answer is clear I’ll bring you back here to me It’s sad but it’s true If only you knew The way you shook around my heart and left it askew I’m sad as can be My pitch is off key And singing this could never turn an i into we So if the future is sealed I’ll just make a deal With the devil and I’ll make a fake reality real And all the little people living in it just have to deal With whatever comes next But I’m un-perplexed How could I be remiss? Just riddle me this, How could it be worse Than a world unreversed without you?

you don't really need lyrics, do you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Okhs-tAHXw

Blood of the old on silver and gold, their children now look on thee Man of your ilk, wrapped up in red silk, and now you have come to me? Hereafter is a tapestry not to be seen, and to view it is a travesty thus yet to have been Greed is a vessel that can never be filled, to try and quaff it’s liquor gets you sicker or killed. Darling you must be smart not to trust me, let me just say one thing True that I’m wealthy, virile and healthy, one step removed from a king Loathed as I am for sappiness, my life has been void of happiness Tell me where I went wrong, and tell me in song, tell me it’s not an elegy it’s Been too much for too long (Over and over)t Just singing the same song (Hovering, lovering) Over and over and over again I know it’s a flow but I’m lost in the spin The tide just keeps rising (Evermore, evermore) And nothings surprising (anymore, anymore) The same day, over and over again Empty of challenge, yet it somehow remains Simple minded man serves simple worded answers And now one I will relay Your status, your rule, your gold and your jewels In short, just give it all away Wealth contains worth to those with a dearth And many lay claim to lacking Relinquish your wealth that serves you no health Live in the world you’re sacking Learn how to love someone Kindness can’t be undone Try something new, it’s all you can do find time to be with your son I simply can’t see with clear certainty how that would help poor old me It’s just too abstract, i don’t have the tact or responsibility I see now that the seer can't see all that much clearer So maybe I’m just wasting my all too meaningless time here Maybe I’ll find an island (an Island isn’t yours for the taking) A little mile of my own designing (Calamity is sure in the making) Maybe I’ll stay there, far far away where I’ll be (whatever you’re thinking, it ends with you sinking) Manifesting destiny, smiling (The world is not but yours as plaything) My own little sovereign islet (It’s not too late to fix your relations) Unbeguiled from all the troubles of high life (No one’s ever too far gone for redemption ) You think me insane? I’ll just build a plane, I’ve already found my own pilot (you tempt the fates and see it yourself, then.) Hatred, Death and violence Await you where your miles end misery and silence Await you on the island